Different
by Lucy Boudrilliard
Summary: Lucy Sanders is a fifteen year old teenager who feels different than the other girls, and wishes a better version of herself. One big thing at her Summer Camp Party, will change her life, and Lucy will never see the world like she did before.
1. A Better Version of Myself

8/29

I actually was different. Nobody seemed to understand that, not even my teddy bear.

Do you want to know about myself? My name is Lucy Sanders, I'm fifteen years old, I live in California and I've got brown hair and green eyes. I like being different, but I'm not that different so that I can't like boys or sad movies, I just feel more mature than some other stupid and pathetic girls. I love writing, I'm not the kind of person that you define as sociable, and sometimes I feel lonely in this big world. I wish I could be me, but in a better version of myself. I do not want anyone or anything to change me, that didn`t happen before, because I rarely speak to someone. I think that the most important thing that a person has is what is inside their heart. But, I want something big to happen. Something that could make people notice me.

Changing the subject, I kind of have a weird family. Well, actually I have only one member in it.

Let's start with my mom. Anyone can imagine a 'mom' like a normal one. Well, mine isn't.

I should begin by telling you, she gave birth to me at the age of nineteen, and all she talks and ask me about are clothes, shoes, guys, facial treatments and more girly stuff I don't even care. I guess normal teenagers would love a mom who insists on you going out every night, and doesn't even ask at what time you are returning. What a pity I'm not normal.

She goes crazy about things I never consider, but sometimes I pretend to be interested in what she's saying only to make her happy. I know she's suffered a lot, and I'm the only person who can take her a smile. Well, up to now I think I am. My dad simply disappeared the day I was born, so all I can know about him is and old picture I've found hidden in her closet.

Don't freak out, I have friends. Well, at least two. And yes, we're not the kind of girls everyone wants to sit with during lunch, but at least we're there for each other. The two of them are my closest friends, and I think I will really die if I ever lose them. Miranda Moore, a red hair blue-eyed Irish girl, is the one that can advise me the most. And Carol Lewis, who has dark skin frizzed hair and a strong personality, is the one I trust the most. But in the end, they are both my closest friends, so don't ask me why I think that about them.

That's a little introduction about my life dear diary. Yes, I think I should start writing 'Dear Diary' at the top of my writings like every common teenager. Just to pretend I'm normal, that'll be our secret.

Now I'm at my bedroom… well, is not my bedroom. I'm sharing it with three absent-minded blonde triplets, who's only ambition is to win a make-up contest. That's a difference between them and me. I want to be someone in the future, someone who will be remembered.

The thing is I'm sharing the room, because I'm in summer camp. Hurray.

Tonight is the final night we're here, and we are having a big party in about two hours. That's why Angela, Angelina and Angelique (the three charming golden triplets) are freaking out trying silly dresses all over again. I'm wearing my old red pants and, for my surprise, a beautiful blue shirt. I also had to wear my mum`s blue high heels, she would kill me if I didn`t.

I only lined my eyes I couldn't do it myself, Angela helped me. She just kept saying 'An easy twist of the barrel and your pencil is ready to line your eyes with precision'. Finally, Angelique attempted to put some red lipstick onto my lips because, according to her, it would look fancy with my dull-weird-red pants. But I made it to get off her arms, and ran all over up to the cleaning room, where I'm writing now. Although, I have to say, that when I look myself in the mirror, I looked beautiful. Not that I'm being as selfish as Claire Doyle (the queen that rules at my school) but I think I really look pretty.

I guess I should get going to that party, I love dancing but the thing is I don't think I will find someone to do it with me. What if that big thing can happen tonight? Will that encourage this school year to be better than the other? Let me dream about it. I guess I will be standing beside the wall, while everyone is making out with a person they have just met. That's the story of my life.

Wish me luck! Bye Bye for now.

-The girl I described on top.


	2. Goodbye V and the Tear Stream Down

30/8

Dear Diary:

I realized things can happen without anyone expecting them. When I said 'I don't think I will find someone to do it with me' I REALLY meant DANCING.

I arrived to the party escorted by myself, at about 8 o'clock. The place was huge, full of modern and loud music. It was too noisy, which means it was a great party. I could notice guy's eyes rolling all over me and that felt nice…different. There were lots of people, some of them drinking so much you would have thought they were actually dying. The good thing was that I could act normal there, no one actually knew me, it wasn't school.

So I decided to pleased myself with two glasses of what I thought vodka was. It was definitely a bitter drink. I needed to seem normal. I just don´t know why, but I tried to fit in that whole social circle. Maybe to feel like them. After those stale drinks, I decided to eat a cheese pizza and have only water. I don't know what I was thinking about, vodka sucks.

Girls and boys were dancing and kissing in the hot rounded dance floor. I really missed Miranda and Carol. They would have taken me there and rock it all over. What as I talking about? I didn't need them! Nobody really knew me; I could vomit and be cool there.

Don´t ask me how Diary, but I went there and started to dance like maniac. Suddenly a strange thing happened. People joined me. Laughing, smiling, holding my waist…. And there, yes there was the most embarrassing thing I could ever felt.

Luke. No. Not any Luke. Luke Brandon was holding my waist.

HOW? WHEN? How was even possible LUKE BRANDON was there? At Summer Camp? Luke Brandon?

Luke is the hottest guy in school. He´s a blue-eyed, strong, handsome football player. There's no girl who could reject him. He's a total womanizer. Everyone loves him. I bet he didn't even know who I was, that we shared History, Biology and Chemistry classes. Still there he was, holding MY waist.

But I was dancing like a maniac in front of him. What an embarrassment.

I turned round, looked deeply into his blue eyes, and couldn't articulate a word, not even a sound. He just smiled and took my hand.

When I got my conscience back, I realized we were hidden in a closet. A messy squared closet, where I should never have entered.

-Lucy, right? He said softly.

-You know my name? I replied. For my surprise, my voice returned.

-Of course I do –he added with a smile –You go to St Kevnigburgh, I even saw you in my History class more than once.

-You…you saw...m-me? I muttered like a stupid

Why where we hidden in there?

-Yes. I always thought you were beautiful

Then I understood why we were still there. He suddenly grabbed me into his arms and I started to feel his sweet lips around my neck. Finally his mouth reached mine. And that was my first kiss. But, I couldn`t even think about it because everything turned around.

He helped me by taking my blue shirt off, and then my red pants. I gently took off his and his white shirt. I kissed him, and he smiled returning the kiss. It was just like in movies. Every part of my body was shaking with excitement, and every time he touched me I felt like a woman. Passionate kisses exploded all over the wooden closet. I felt like I was in heaven. Everything seemed perfect, he was perfect. And there it hit me.

That was no perfection at all. We were in a wooden closet. He was a womanizer. What was I doing? Without any warning, a tear stream down my face.

-Oh god -he claimed with a sad face -Am I hurting you?

-N-no I quickly answered. I´m emotional, everything is perfect.

It wasn't. But he smiled and continued. He was happy, and with me. Lucy and Luke, L&L, lovely. Yes, it wasn't a great place at all for my first time. But it was with him and that´s all that mattered.

When we finished um…that, he put his clothes on and I put mine.

-Wow- I said.

-You're amazing, you know? He couldn't say it without kissing my chest.

I grinned. -So, what's next? I whispered

-Next? Oh, I'm… I guess I will get drunk with some of my friends and dance on the dance floor.

-What?

Was he joking? At least he could give me a goodbye-kiss. What was all that then? I didn't mean anything to him?

-Oh honey, nobody can know I slept with you –he said kissing my lips and leaving the closet before I could even answer.

Everything hit me once again. I lost my virginity. With no one but Luke Brandon. He practically laughed at me, but kissed me too. Did he felt something with me? Was I just one over his one hundred girls? Why should I keep it in secret? Of course. I'm Lucy Sanders. Who would ever sleep with me? Not Luke. He´s Popular and I´m invisible. But then, why did he? Because he was turned on and needed someone? He could have grabbed any girl on that dance floor, any girl he didn´t even know about.

Oh dear Diary, I don´t know what I´ll do with my life. This is painful. How I'm I supposed to look at him, when I had seen him naked? Will he look at me again? Is he ashamed because he did it with me?

I guess I should see the positive side of this, one big thing really happened to me this summer. Only that nobody is going to know about it, and I don´t want that either.

I feel like disappointed. But how could I ever think that he would take ME serious? I am no one. I'm invisible.

I'll keep going Diary, I should pack my things before we leave tomorrow morning. A new school year's coming, and I know I've lost the V. But no one will ever know.

Bye Bye for now,

_-The girl he grabbed on the dance floor_


End file.
